Funny Quotes (9)

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.
-- Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.
-- Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.
-- Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
-- Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on.
-- G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
-- Groucho Marx

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Charles Shulz

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
-- Ambrose Bierce


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