विश्वकपका जर्सी संकलन अभियान

     विश्वकप भर्खरै सकियो । फुटबल महाकुम्भको एकमहिना व्यतीत हुँदा नेपाल पनि यसबाट अछुतो रहेन । के युवा युवती के वृद्धवृद्घा, के मजदूर के उद्योगपति सबैलाई छुन्छ विश्वकपले । यसै दौरान करीब पचास करोडको जर्सीको कारोवार भएको पनि विभिन्न मीडियामा पढ्न पाइयो । जर्सीले विश्वकपको शोभा बढायो र समर्थकको समर्थन । हामी सबैजना अझैपनि जर्सी पक्कै प्रयाग गर्दैनौ । के त्यो जर्सी कोही लाउने कपडा नभएको असहायको शरीर ढाक्नमा काम आओस् भन्ने चाहनुहुन्छ ? यदि चाहनुहुन्छ भने हामी संकलन गरेर पु¥याउँदै छौं जर्सी, तपाई जर्सी दान गरेर अथवा स्वयंसेवक समेत भएर हामीलाई साथ दिन सक्नुहुन्छ । आउनुहोस् आजैबाट “केही गरौं” ।

     विस्तृत विवरणको लागि www.facebook.com/jcnepal or 9814304307 (Ashok khanal)

Hilarious Facebook Updates

have a giggle:-

Dave People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

Katie Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Dave I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.

Katie It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.

Dave How To Be A Hero tip: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself.

Katie went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.

Dave Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Katie What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.

Dave My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.

Katie Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.

Dave Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.

Katie got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she's been diagnosed with OCD. She's rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct.

Dave reckons anti-wrinkle cream doesn't work. If it did, women wouldn't have any fingerprints.

Katie will one day get even... with all the people that have helped her.

Dave Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Katie People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

Dave Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.

Katie Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.

Dave I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.

Katie I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...

Dave I've always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.

Katie TEIAM - problem solved

Dave never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.

Katie never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.

Dave Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"

The Funny Facebook Status Updates......

Dave feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

Katie used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.

Dave is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...

Katie dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)

Dave says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Katie is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd

Dave is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.

Katie is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Dave doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.

Katie ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95

Dave is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark

Katie thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"

Dave before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!

Dave Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper

Katie "Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."

Dave is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Katie Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

Dave is normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Katie is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute

Dave just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.

Katie would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook.

Dave believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.

Katie ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ

Dave Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"

Katie is Loading ████████████ 99%

Guy and Girl in a Bar [Lawyer Joke]

A guy walks into a bar. Sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he said, "Hi, there, good looking! How's it going?"

Having already downed a few power drinks she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen! I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just love it!"

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

Interesting Facts | Something to Think About | Interesting Facts-2

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched"

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt"

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill

Almonds are a member of the peach family

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10

The characters Bert and Ernie (Sesame St.) were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its a Wonderful Life"

A dragonfly has a life-span of 24 hours

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge

In England, The Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator Looked in his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz"

Interesting Facts | Interesting Facts | Interesting Facts-1

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.


A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.


A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.


A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.


A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Man Vs Woman [Funny Story]

1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3.MONEY

Never Argue With a Woman [Funny Story]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

Poor memory | what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? [Funny Story]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? 

Catch the Rabbit - Funny Story

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"