Funny thoughts (3)

#If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

~Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

~Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

~What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

~Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

~What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?

~Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

~If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

~If a cannible was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electricuted for his last meal?

~Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

~Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?

~If you died with braces on would they take them off?

~How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

~Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

~Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

~How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

~If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

~Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

~What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?

~Why do overalls have bel loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

~Do people in prison celebrate halloween.... if so how? 

~What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of siamese twins? Who gets to be king?

~Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms? 

~Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

~How come cats butts go up when you pet them?

~How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway? 

~Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins? 

~How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

~Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

~Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?

~Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

~Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation? 

~Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

~If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

~Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

~At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?

~Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

~Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?

~When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? 

~Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

~Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

~How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?

~When a pregnant lady has twins, is there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?

~Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?

~Why do they put holes in crackers?

~Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?