“Teenager with nose ring, baggy clothing and spiked hair to friend: I don’t really like dressing like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere they go.”
—Unknown
“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”
—Ed Asner
“I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one of my players said, ‘Every time I hear that song I have a bad game.”
—Jim Leyland
“You’ve reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.”
—Unknown
“Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest.”
—Neil Kinnock
“The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.”
—Casey Stengal
“You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going.”
—Unknown
“A kindergarten teacher is someone who loves children and hates zippers.”
—Unknown
“Better to be forgotten than sued.”
—Dave Weinbaum
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
—Dave Berry
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